He was a complicated man and apparently no one understood him but his women….



Ready to be enjoyed

Oh a bastardization of “Shaft” rings true for one James Squire, the man, the legend…

We know that he was born in early December 1754, based on the fact that his baptismal record reads 18^th of December, and that his parents were apparently “gypsies”.  He lived a life of crime and eventually in late 1784 he was caught stealing some hens, cocks and other goods and was sentenced on April 11, 1785  to join the “First Fleet” in the British Government’s convict program – exile to Australia.  How lucky was he?  He not only got to leave his wife and kids behind, but his legacy now remains in Oz as one of the tastiest beers that I have had in my 3 months of exile from Canada.

We’ll delve more into his story over the next few weeks, but each beer and brand that bears his name is more telling of his history, and the characteristics of each add more colour and texture to this man who is known as the first brewer in this land of convicts.

One Man....many options

Four Wives Pilsner

Now in Australia as one of the first settlers, James was lonely and with his wife and three kids behind – over the years he hooked up with three more women (never married again) whist squiring an additional eight kids (3 boys; 5 girls = 11 kids in total!!!).

Four wives is a spicy, full flavoured Pils, unlike any other that I’ve had to date.  The way that I like to characterize it is through four main characteristics, of which I would like to impose these characteristics on four levels of the great matriarchs within the history of Television.

Peggy Bundy (Married with Children) / Carla Tortelli (Cheers)

Sharp, spicy first sip has a strong character like someone who, if entering a prison yard on their first day would punch the toughest in the house to let them know who was top dog now.  That character is this beer; the punching bag is your taste buds.

Lois Griffin (The Family Guy) / Carmela Soprano (The Sopranos)

When the initial spice wears off, you feel the flavour mellowing but then the character rounds out, becomes more complex; full bodied as it permeates…imposes its will and makes it home.  Don’t underestimate it – or it’ll knock you on your ass.

Skyler White (Breaking Bad) / Tammy Taylor (Friday Night Lights)

Just as you feel the flavour is weakening and laying back; being pushed over – you feel the Wives biting back, showing it’s backbone as it reminds you who’s the boss.

Edith Bunker (All in the Family) / Beadie Russell (The Wire)

The flavour begins to mellow.  The taste lingers, everlasting.  Makes you want to come back for more and when you do it feels like home.

Overall this is a tasty full flavoured Pilsner and one that has a complexity that I’ve never experienced before especially since some of my favourite beers (Beck’s, Urquell, Krombacher) have a laid back bitterness.  Four Wives has more of a bite and a mellowing quality that could enter my pantheon – one that I could drink a lot of.

Just Whip It!

One-Fifty Lashes

The punishment often bears fruit to a tasty ending

The story goes that in 1789, James was convicted in stealing ingredients that would’ve been used to enhance some of his brews – namely pepper and horehound (which was often used when hops was not readily accessible).  Stealing on the penal colony met with harsher penalties than if done back in the UK, however since Mr. Squire was producing beer for the Lieutenant-General at the time, the court took this into account and served James with the following sentence:

"one hundred and fifty (lashes of the whip) now, and the remainder when able to bear it".

Along with this, as the legend states, the judge also ordered two barrels of ale.

Pale ales in Australia are the most popular of beers, with tough competition from Cooper’s Pale Ale and Carleton.  Pale ales tend to be cloudy with a clean pallet and a slight bitterness.  Lashes is an easy to drink brew that brings me back to University as it has a similar fruity nose to the Golden Lion’s Pale….only if it were actually carbonated and didn’t have the taste that it may have been potentially refiltered without the cigarette butts (only half joking).

I liked this beer….a lot.  It’s not one that I could drink in excess anymore, but it is one that could be savoured with a grilled pork chops and beans.  It is one of the tastiest Pale’s that I’ve had – and is much more mellow than an IPA (James Squire does have an IPA that we’ll get to), which I tend to lean more to.  I just know that whenever I want to reminisce about my days in Lennoxville, Quebec – I’ll make sure to raise a toast with this ale.

ON DECK: Nine Tales and the Sundowner

James Squire – the man, the myth, the criminal…the beer!

In early December 1754, Tim and Mary Squires welcomed their son James into this world – and for the next 68 years proceeded to be a convict, a polygamist, a settler and finally a brewer – one of the first in New South Wales (the original name of Australia, subsequently the name of the state where the first city lies).

To kick-off this journey of tastes and to celebrate what would be his 257^th birthday – we will raise a toast to James Squire by tasting the various brews that now bare his name.  These delicious liquids are known as:

·         Nine Tales Amber Ale

·         The Chancer Golden Ale

·         Four “Wives” Pilsner

·         Stowaway India Pale Ale

·         Jack of Spades Porter

·         Sundown Lager

·         One Fifty Lashes Pale Ale

And the new and elusive special limited summer release – Orchard Crush Apple Cider*

Along the way I will attempt to regale you with tales of his life, the stories behind the name of each glorious pint, and comparisons I have sampled around the globe.

The journey begins……

*I will include cider’s in reviews and samplings as well.  As in Ireland or the UK it is more acceptable to order or raise a pint of cider in Oz….opposed to being called a ninny in North America

Welcome Lovers of the Golden Nectar

Beer. 

The mere mention of the word gets your salivary glands working overdrive.  A subtle hint conjures images of beer maidens holding multiple frosty & frothy ambrosia filled chalices.  Take a sip of a German brew, close your eyes and try not to transport yourself to the bierhalles of Münich – verses of “Ein Prosit” ringing in your consciousness, the smell of freshly baked pretzels attacking your senses.  Watch a true artisan at work on a perfect pint of Guinness – its hard not to be mesmerized by the gentle cascade of flavours trickle down the inside of your glass, waiting for it to be still...to be quenched.  Gently placed on a table, coaster, or magazine - each time it is raised to quench your thirst - you leave an Olympic-sized ring to trumpet your triumph over the nectar that is truly made by the Gods – or a brew master in Dublin, St. Louis or Melbourne.

There are many blogs about beer on this sprawling interweb, however as a Canadian now living in Australia I wanted to take another approach to sampling the sweet nectar and dispel a lot of what the world believes about the Auzzie beer culture.  That is Australians are nothing more than “Crocodile Dundee” dressed blokes who exclusively quaff  “bigbeers”.  This stigma is propagated by Fosters littering the “BIG CAN” across stores in the US and Canada, as is seems to be the only beer that Australia has really exported into North America.  Hell, when I told my good buddy that I was moving from Toronto to Sydney – I bought four “BIG” Fosters and prepared to unravel the tale as to why we were moving.  Luckily the LCBO in Ontario has brought in a more flavourful and robust beer in VB “Victoria Bitter” but it really does not speak to the complexity and the depth of brews that are available on the continent.

Now I’m not a “certified” expert in “beerology” however I have consumed my share (and maybe your share, and his share and…) of liquid over my legal drinking age years and have had some very bad beers (SchlenkeriaSmoke Beer….like drinking a beer with a cigar and severely burnt kielbasa mixed in) and some very good beers (Schlösser Alt to name one).  With a wife who formerly worked in the marketing department for one of the largest brewery on the planet – I’ve been given the unique ability to be able to compare various beers or test some new ones.  On a side note I once went 13 for 13 on a “Stout Taste Test”.

The thing is – you do not have to be an expert on beer to enjoy beer.  I think that a person’s taste in beer, wine, sprits is as objective as one’s taste in women, cars or professional sports teams.  I know people that swear by Budweiser, Molson Canadian, Coors Light, Guinness, Corona and Heineken, but I never judge because someone’s taste will never fully align with that of mind.  As in life, when you find a common ground it sparks friendship, when tastes differ it sparks intense debate, and when the evidence is refutable as in the fact that Corona is nothing more than carbonated urine – common ground bears the sweetest of fruit.

Part of the excitement of travelling and experiencing the new, is discovering new tastes, flavours and products that you wouldn’t necessarily find in your place of origin.  As much as it is exciting to live in a new country, I am as equally as excited to discover new beers and spirits that are not readily accessible in Canada or other parts unknown.  I will not do a wine blog.  I will not do a Vegemite blog.  This is a beer blog – as pure and simple as the ingredients that make up this heavenly nectar.

Each week I will high light a different beer – show packaging, marketing (if found) as well as telling the experience of buying, ordering beers and the nuances of enjoying a tall cold one down under.  Along the way I may, nay will, impose my thoughts on my favourite beers, the ones that are horrible and share any factoids or habits that I find along the way.

I love beer.  We have had a long torrid affair along the lines of many of the classic love stories – “When Harry Met Sally”, “Gone With the Wind” and as complex as others like “Revenge of the Nerds” and “DeepThroat”.  I hope that you enjoy these ramblings, and that it sparks you to try something out of the norm or to look at your favourite brew at a new angle.

The types of beers range in the thousands, but you live only one life – so get your ass in gear and start drinking.

Croi follain agus gob fliuch.

"A healthy heart and a wet mouth!"

*You will also notice the many links to YouTube clips that may or may not enhance your experience of this tome.  These are unlicensed clips with the intent to add colour to the stories and not meant to impeach upon copywrite infringement.  I am a YouTube Picasso....never forget this.